::Dear Orgasm::

Hey you awesome readers!!

Don't hate me too much, but final exams have really been a pain in the ass and I will be honest... I haven't had much time to write. I'm a senior finance major so you can image my struggle right now... BUT... the good news is I will share something more intimate than my stories - My Journal!! [{Like you really care what's going on in my head, right?}] It's meant to be funny, it's okay to laugh..... Any who... Don't judge me too hard, these are thoughts... meaning I can't control these things. I think of random stuff and I'm very silly.

Dear Orgasm,

I guess if granted the opportunity to write a letter requesting to meet you, it would go something like this.. Of course I'd insist we conduct this interview by way of Skype or Oovoo because you seem to be rather unpredictable at times. I mean with the yelling, convulsions, scratching, choking, biting, slapping, hair pulling, etc. Well, I don't need to tell you, you know how you are. (thinking.. maybe GoogleChat would be better)
I've limited my questions to only five out of respect for your busy schedule and all.  Wouldn't want to deprive anyone of your magical bliss. Maybe we can have a second interview sometime. It's an honor to even get an interview with such a celebrity. Sorry, talking too much (*focused now*). My questions would be as follows: 

 1.   Was your first time as scary for you as it was for me? Because I swear I didn't know what the hell was going on. I would recommend a warning of sorts before you disconnect my vision. Speaking of which...

 2. Can we work out some compromise  I don't appreciate you flat lining my brain every time you appear. Sometimes I cant see, move, feel, hear... I appreciate you, but somethings got to give. And then you have me saying random shit like, "Is this your highlighter or mines?" ((Who cares?!))

 3. Are you celestial?  Or is this simply an Earthly or mankind perk. I mean, what a bonus! Do aliens orgasm or is that why they abduct us to figure out how they can get one...

 4. Do you keep count and favorites? Is there an orgasm all time high? A Guinness Orgasm record? An Orgasm Hall of Fame? An Orgasm Champion? An Orgasm Grammy? An Nobel Orgasm Prize? An Orgasms Choice Award #curious

 5. If you could tweet would you say something like #ItsNotPeeItsMeBitch #Splash! #InYoFaceBitch 

Thanking you in advance,

A.I. Lee     

THE END

:-)