Desirous (An Excerpt)

That woman had the most unpropitious timing, or maybe her timing was calculated. She was unbelievably smart, no doubt.  Incredibly persuasive and I would be remised if I didn’t add manipulative. I couldn’t help but wonder if her unfavorable timing was measured.  

As I entered my home, the glow of the television unnerved me. I wasn’t one for watching television and I definitely wouldn’t leave it on in my absence. The volume was muted, but it was the luminescence which spilled from the screen and decorated the nearby wall which had warned me.

I drop my bags on the floor and removed my shoes before stepping outside the foyer. I followed the lighting and turned the corner as I was greeted with a routine, “Hey hun.”

My uncertainty dissolved as I replied absently, “Hey.”

Sensing my displeasure he inquired, “Long day?”

One of the absolute longest, I mused, but I replied with a nonchalant, “Same as always.”

Neglecting our usual greeting which was complimented by a kiss on the cheek, I walked past him and the television stating, “I’m going to call it a night.”

The declaration paused him and it wasn’t until I was halfway to our bedroom when he replied, “Okay. Goodnight.”

Entering the bedroom I began unfastening my blouse, exposing my breast and the black bra which supported them.

 I felt stained and unclean, comparable to person who had just committed a heinous act. Like a cop who engaged in their first act of defiance. Or a once polished woman who exploited her body. My challenge was not that I had aroused the interest of a coworker, but that the feeling was reciprocal.

My crime was minimal, yet the weight of it compelled me to cleanse my sins.

I turned the chrome knob and water cascaded through the shower head sprout.

I continued to strip my clothing, until I was bare and I tiptoed across the cold tiled floor and through the thick glass shower enclosure.

The hot water scolded me, still I turned the temperature higher. The scorching heat reassured me that I would be thoroughly sanitized.  Most importantly the scolding water would discourage my hands from seeking pleasure. It still throbbed, enticing me to ride the thrill of ecstasy, but I resisted because I was in control.

Stepping out of the shower I slipped on my satin kimono. I loved the feel of the fabric on my warm skin. I laid in bed nearly an hour, chasing the cool areas of my satin sheets with my feet. A few times I rolled over to Mark’s side of the bed since he hadn’t yet retired for the night. The heat radiating from my body had become uncomfortable. It made me restless, but mostly it made me desire Maria.